LONDON – In a move hailed by efficiency experts and royal watchers alike, Buckingham Palace has officially announced the completion of its state-of-the-art 'Royal Detention Wing' (RDW), following the unprecedented arrest of Prince Andrew, Duke of York. The facility, discreetly located beneath the palace's East Wing, boasts 'bespoke holding cells' and 'durable, yet aesthetically pleasing, manacles.'

'This isn't just about Prince Andrew; this is about forward-thinking governance,' stated Lady Penelope Forthright, Head of Royal Logistics and Incarceration Preparedness. 'With the monarchy entering an era of increased accountability, it was simply impractical to rely on standard police stations. The RDW ensures that any future royal detentions can be managed with the utmost discretion and, crucially, without disrupting the changing of the guard.'

Initial reports suggest the RDW features a 'soft-play' interrogation room and a 'constitutionally compliant' exercise yard. Dr. Alistair Finchley, Professor of Monarchical Infrastructure at the University of Wessex, commented, 'It's a bold step. By internalizing the detention process, the Crown is essentially nationalizing its own legal consequences. One wonders if the gift shop will stock miniature handcuffs.' Palace sources confirmed the gift shop is 'under review' for 'synergistic opportunities.'