WASHINGTON D.C. — A groundbreaking new report from the Institute for Digital Stability (IDS) has concluded that smartphone gimbals are no longer a luxury item but a fundamental requirement for individuals participating in modern society. The study, published Tuesday, suggests that the human eye's natural stabilization is now woefully inadequate for capturing the 'lived experience' in a shareable, non-nauseating format.

“For too long, we’ve allowed the chaotic, shaky reality of everyday existence to pollute our digital feeds,” stated Dr. Evelyn Reed, lead researcher at IDS. “Our data indicates a direct correlation between the proliferation of unstabilized vertical video and a measurable decline in global serotonin levels. The human hand, frankly, is an archaic tool for content creation.”

The report recommends that all citizens be equipped with a high-quality smartphone gimbal, citing the 'outstanding' rating recently awarded to the Osmo Mobile 7P by PCMag as a baseline standard. Government subsidies for gimbal purchases are expected to be debated in upcoming legislative sessions, with some lawmakers proposing a 'Stabilization Tax Credit' for early adopters.

“Think of it as public health,” added Dr. Reed. “Every wobbly pan of your breakfast, every jarring zoom on your pet, is an assault on the collective digital consciousness. We simply cannot afford to live in a world where a spontaneous moment isn't perfectly smooth and cinematic.”

Critics argue that mandating gimbals infringes on personal freedom, but proponents counter that the right to a stable frame outweighs the right to a shaky one.

Failure to comply could result in your memories being deemed 'unwatchable' by future generations.