BOSTON, MA – A recent data breach affecting automotive marketplace CarGurus has inadvertently triggered a nationwide phenomenon of 'surprise' birthday parties, as 12.5 million customer records, including names, email addresses, phone numbers, and precise physical addresses, were reportedly compromised. Experts suggest the stolen data has been repurposed by a highly organized, albeit misguided, network of 'celebration enthusiasts.'

“We’re seeing an unprecedented surge in unsolicited party planning,” stated Dr. Felicity Bumbershoot, Head of Unsolicited Joy Studies at the Institute for Applied Merriment. “Individuals who merely browsed for a 2017 Honda Civic are now finding themselves surrounded by confetti and a poorly sung rendition of 'Happy Birthday' by strangers, often at 3:00 AM.”

The breach, which CarGurus confirmed last week, has led to a 300% increase in calls to emergency services regarding unexpected clown appearances and rogue bouncy castles. One victim, Mildred Putter, 78, of Topeka, Kansas, reported receiving a life-sized cardboard cutout of herself holding a 'Happy 47th!' banner, despite being 78 and never having used CarGurus. “I just clicked on an ad for a nice sedan once,” Putter lamented, “Now my porch is a shrine to a younger, fictional me.”

CarGurus spokesperson, Chip Sterling, Director of Proactive Apologies and Post-Breach PR, issued a statement: “While we deeply regret the inconvenience, we are exploring the possibility of monetizing this new, highly personalized form of direct marketing. Imagine: 'Happy Birthday! Your credit score says you're pre-approved for a new SUV!'”