RALEIGH, NC – North Carolina's esteemed 'Institute for Bland Thought and Unremarkable Discourse' announced today the immediate termination of adjunct lecturer Chris Schulte, following an internal review that uncovered a shocking pattern of 'having discernible viewpoints.' Schulte, a State House candidate, was reportedly dismissed after a public outburst that included expressing criticism of conservative pundit Charlie Kirk and former President Donald Trump.

“Our institution prides itself on fostering an environment of rigorous academic neutrality, where no idea is too inconsequential to be thoroughly ignored,” stated Dr. Evelyn P. Numb, Head of the Department of Apathetic Studies. “Mr. Schulte’s recent display of what we can only describe as 'passionate engagement' violated our core principle of intellectual beige-ness. It was, frankly, quite loud.”

Sources close to the administration, who spoke on condition of anonymity due to a strict 'no-gossiping-unless-it's-about-the-weather' policy, indicated that the college became concerned when Schulte's social media posts began to exceed the institution's mandated 0.003% 'opinion-to-cat-photo' ratio. “We simply cannot have educators exhibiting preferences,” explained Quentin Blandsworth, Chief Officer of Institutional Indifference. “It sets a dangerous precedent. What if students start thinking for themselves?”

Schulte could not be reached for comment, presumably because he was busy having thoughts somewhere.