WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, Congress has once again successfully rebuffed former President Trump's audacious attempts to curtail government spending, preserving what many analysts are calling 'the American way of budgeting.' Over the past three months, lawmakers systematically dismantled proposals that would have seen federal agencies operate with fewer resources, a concept deemed 'un-American' by several key figures.

“We simply cannot allow a precedent where the government operates within its means,” stated Senator Mildred Finch (D-OH), Chair of the Subcommittee on Unnecessary Expenditures. “Our constituents expect a certain level of fiscal irresponsibility, and we are committed to delivering.”

Experts are struggling to comprehend the former president's motivations. “His insistence on 'saving taxpayer dollars' and 'reducing the national debt' flew in the face of centuries of established legislative practice,” explained Dr. Percival Wattle, Head of Applied Fiscal Absurdity at the Institute for Perpetual Growth. “It was almost as if he believed money was a finite resource.”

Sources close to the negotiations confirmed that one particularly egregious proposal involved 'turning off the lights when leaving a room,' which was swiftly dismissed as 'an affront to the national grid's inherent right to glow.'