WASHINGTON D.C. — Democratic Attorneys General from across the nation have reportedly concluded a week-long series of highly classified 'war-games' aimed at thwarting potential election interference, should former President Donald Trump run for and win the 2024 election. The elaborate simulations, codenamed 'Operation: Electoral Thunderdome,' included scenarios ranging from the plausible to the utterly fantastical.

Sources close to the clandestine operation revealed that AGs spent significant time strategizing against 'The Great Sharpie Shortage of '24,' a scenario where all voting booth sharpies mysteriously vanish, and 'Raccoon-Based Ballot Tampering,' which involved a coordinated release of highly trained, ballot-shredding raccoons near key polling stations. Participants also reportedly drilled for 'The Sudden Disappearance of All Left-Handed Ballpoint Pens' and 'The Unexplained Surge in Polka Dot Tie Sales Near Precincts.'

“Our intelligence suggests a 37.4% probability of at least one novel, animal-related interference tactic,” stated Dr. Elara Vance, lead behavioral strategist for the 'Institute for Pre-Emptive Political Paranoia,' a fictional think tank consulted for the drills. “We cannot afford to be caught off guard by an army of highly motivated, election-disrupting squirrels.”

Attorney General Brenda 'The Bulldog' Albright of New Hampshire, who reportedly played the role of 'Chief Obstructionist' in the simulations, remarked, “We've considered every angle. Even the one where the electoral college is replaced by a competitive pie-eating contest. We have a pie-eating defense strategy ready.” The AGs are reportedly now preparing for 'Phase Two: The Post-Apocalyptic Vote Count.'