WASHINGTON D.C. – The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced sweeping new 'Entertainment Purity' guidelines today, effectively banning all political interviews from late-night television. The move comes after CBS's 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' was forced to pull an interview with Texas State Representative James Talarico, citing nebulous 'new FCC guidance.'

Under the new regulations, any segment deemed 'potentially thought-provoking' or 'even mildly critical of current governance' must be immediately replaced with content approved by the newly formed Bureau of Jovial Diversion. Initial approved content includes, but is not limited to, 'squirrels waterskiing,' 'babies laughing uncontrollably at inanimate objects,' and 'a loop of a golden retriever attempting to catch a treat.'

'Our research indicates a direct correlation between political commentary after 11 PM and a measurable dip in national serotonin levels,' stated Dr. Agnes Periwinkle, lead researcher for the Department of Public Mirth and Cognitive Comfort. 'The American public deserves to unwind with content that requires zero critical engagement. We're simply safeguarding their right to blissful ignorance.'

Industry insiders are scrambling to adapt. 'We've already ordered 300 hours of footage of a pug wearing a tiny hat,' said a visibly stressed network executive, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being reassigned to the 'National Corgi Cam' project. 'It's a brave new world for late-night. Soon, the only thing getting 'slammed' will be a pie in a clown's face.'