LOS ANGELES — Mayor Karen Bass announced today a new city initiative to personally attend the grand opening of every film and television studio facility within the greater Los Angeles area, effective immediately. The move comes after her high-profile appearance at Cinespace Studios' new Woodland Hills complex, an event insiders are calling a 'pivotal moment for municipal-corporate synergy.'

“These aren’t just buildings; they’re cathedrals of content, vital to our city’s cultural and economic tapestry,” Bass stated in a press release issued from a specially constructed green screen set at City Hall. “My presence ensures that Hollywood knows its elected officials are literally here for them, especially when there’s a new soundstage to bless or a tax incentive to discuss.”

City Council spokesperson Brenda Holloway confirmed the mayor’s new directive. “We’ve cleared her schedule. From now on, if there’s a giant pair of scissors and a red ribbon, Mayor Bass will be there, rain or shine, traffic permitting. It’s about showing solidarity with the industry that truly makes Los Angeles what it is: a place where millionaires can make more millions.”

Industry analysts believe the move will significantly streamline the process of getting mayoral approval for future zoning changes and public land acquisitions. “It just cuts out the middleman,” explained veteran studio lobbyist Arthur 'Art' Vandelay. “Why send a memo when you can get a photo op and a handshake directly with the person who signs the checks?”

The mayor's office is reportedly considering expanding the initiative to include personally taste-testing craft services at wrap parties.