WASHINGTON D.C. – As former President Donald Trump prepared to deliver a highly anticipated speech to Congress, federal agencies and independent organizations have reportedly initiated 'Operation Semantic Safeguard,' urging Americans to fortify their understanding of basic reality. The initiative, launched yesterday afternoon, advises citizens to stock up on 'contextual anchors' and 'reality check kits' in preparation for what analysts predict could be a significant redefinition of verifiable truth.

“We’re not saying anything will be definitively untrue, per se,” stated Dr. Elara Vance, Chief Linguistic Resilience Officer at the newly formed Department of Epistemological Integrity. “We’re simply recommending that individuals have ready access to dictionaries, almanacs, and perhaps a trusted friend who can confirm the existence of objective reality, just in case.”

The White House Press Corps, meanwhile, has been issued enhanced 'Fact-Filtering Goggles' designed to automatically highlight rhetorical flourishes exceeding a 75% deviation from documented events. “It’s a preventative measure,” explained Press Secretary Melinda Pinter, adjusting her own pair. “We anticipate a 17.3% increase in historical reinterpretations, especially concerning crowd sizes and economic indicators from 2017-2020.”

Citizens are encouraged to remain calm and remember that the Earth is, in fact, round, and that gravity generally works as expected. The National Association of Concerned Grammaticians has also issued a public service announcement reminding viewers that 'alternative facts' are still, by definition, not facts.