WASHINGTON D.C. – A consortium of sleep experts, circadian rhythm specialists, and self-help gurus today released a groundbreaking report suggesting that the most practical solution to the annual Daylight Saving Time disruption is for the populace to just accept having less sleep. The findings, published in the peer-reviewed journal *Chronos of the Absurd*, recommend a radical shift in perspective rather than attempting futile biological adjustments.

“For years, we’ve been telling people to adjust their sleep schedules gradually, avoid caffeine, and optimize their bedroom environment,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, lead author and Director of the Institute for Perpetual Exhaustion Studies. “But let’s be honest, nobody does that. The real breakthrough is realizing that if you simply decide that being tired is the new normal, the problem effectively disappears.”

The report details how millions of Americans annually struggle with the loss of an hour, leading to decreased productivity, increased irritability, and a collective national groan. Instead of fighting this, the experts propose a mental reframe. “Think of it as an annual societal challenge,” added Dr. Thorne. “A test of resilience. Can you still function adequately on 5.5 hours of sleep? We believe in you.”

Further recommendations include replacing morning coffee with ‘aggressive optimism’ and viewing the dark circles under one’s eyes as ‘badges of societal compliance.’ The study concludes that while the system itself remains objectively bizarre, individual suffering can be mitigated through sheer force of will. After all, if everyone is tired, is anyone truly tired?