A groundbreaking new study published by the Institute for Advanced Social Metrics has definitively concluded that, despite popular belief and numerous online quizzes, no one actually knows how sexually 'experienced' anyone else is. The findings suggest that the entire concept is largely a social construct built on inference, projection, and the occasional overshare from a friend who’s had too much tequila.

“For years, we’ve been operating under the assumption that a series of 60 increasingly specific and often anatomically challenging questions could accurately quantify a person’s carnal journey,” stated lead researcher Dr. Evelyn Thorne, her voice tinged with the weariness of someone who has seen too many data points about 'butthole licking.' “Our data indicates that most people are either lying, exaggerating, or simply misunderstanding the question, rendering the entire exercise statistically useless.”

The study, which analyzed thousands of responses to popular online 'Never Have I Ever' questionnaires, found a significant correlation between perceived sexual experience and the respondent’s ability to confidently check boxes, regardless of factual accuracy. “It turns out, confidence is a far better predictor of perceived 'experience' than actual experience,” added Dr. Thorne. “Which, frankly, explains a lot about dating apps.”

Experts now recommend that individuals seeking to understand their own or others' sexual histories simply engage in direct, honest communication, a method described by one participant as “wildly inefficient and far too vulnerable.” The study’s final recommendation was to just assume everyone has done approximately three more things than you think they have, and two fewer than they claim.