WASHINGTON D.C. — A landmark study published today by the Institute for Astrological Behavioral Sciences (IABS) has definitively concluded that individuals born under the zodiac sign of Pisces are not merely prone to flaking on plans, but are, in fact, biologically and cosmically predisposed to it. The findings, which analyzed millions of social interactions and text message archives, indicate a 97% probability of a Pisces cancelling within 30 minutes of a scheduled event.

“For years, we’ve dismissed this as anecdotal, a mere personality quirk,” stated Dr. Celeste Orion, lead researcher and a Libra who claims to have never flaked on anything in her life. “But our data shows a clear, statistically significant correlation. It’s not a choice; it’s a celestial imperative. Their watery, mutable nature simply cannot be pinned down by something as rigid as a calendar invitation.”

The study suggests that employers, friends, and romantic partners should adjust expectations accordingly. “If you invite a Pisces to your wedding, just assume they’ll send a vague, heartfelt apology from their couch 15 minutes before the ceremony,” Dr. Orion added. “It’s not personal, it’s planetary.” Legal scholars are now debating whether this scientific revelation could serve as a defense in breach of contract cases involving social obligations.

Further research is planned to determine if this astrological predilection extends to paying bills on time or remembering where they parked their car.