LOS ANGELES – In a move that sent shockwaves through the financial planning sector of the National Football League, veteran outside linebacker Khalil Mack has reportedly decided to continue playing football in 2026, sources close to the situation confirmed today. The decision means Mack will explore all available free agency options, presumably those involving substantial monetary compensation.

Mack, who had previously been “mulling retirement” – a phrase often used by athletes considering whether they have enough money to stop working entirely – concluded that, yes, he could probably use a few more million. “It was a tough call,” admitted Mack’s fictional agent, Skip Sterling, from his yacht. “Khalil really had to weigh his options: continue to dominate on the field for a king’s ransom, or… well, not do that. We’re all incredibly proud of his commitment to his craft, and to his bank account.”

The news has been met with relief by financial advisors across the league, who were reportedly bracing for an unprecedented wave of client-initiated early retirement discussions. “For a moment there, we thought we might actually have to advise someone to live within their means,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, a sports economics expert at the University of the Pacific Coast. “Thankfully, Mr. Mack has shown us all that the pursuit of generational wealth is a journey, not a destination.”

Mack is expected to sign with a team willing to pay him handsomely, thus ensuring he won't have to face the indignity of a slightly less extravagant retirement.