NEW YORK, NY – Mayor Zohran Mamdani today announced a sweeping citywide 'Hibernation Protocol' effective 9 PM Sunday, citing an unprecedented meteorological event he termed 'The Great Fluffy Menace.' The executive order bans all travel and mandates indoor 'cozy compliance' for residents, as up to two feet of what meteorologists are cautiously calling 'solidified atmospheric precipitation' is expected.

'We cannot, in good conscience, allow our precious New Yorkers to be exposed to such an overwhelming quantity of pristine, white, potentially fun-inducing material,' Mayor Mamdani stated from a newly installed 'Emergency Cozy Command Center' in City Hall. 'The psychological toll of so much unadulterated winter charm could be catastrophic. We're talking about potential snowball fights, unsolicited sledding, and even, dare I say, spontaneous snowman construction.'

Dr. Penelope Wiffle, Head of Existential Weather Preparedness at the Department of Urban Emotional Resilience, echoed the Mayor's concerns. 'Our predictive models show a 93.7% chance of residents experiencing 'excessive cheer' if left unsupervised in these conditions,' Dr. Wiffle explained, adjusting her oversized knitted scarf. 'The risk of accidental joy is simply too high. This ban is for their own good.'

Citizens caught outdoors after the 9 PM curfew will be immediately escorted home by 'Warmth Enforcement Officers' and issued a mandatory hot cocoa and blanket citation. The city anticipates full 'cozy compliance' by Monday morning, with exceptions only for essential personnel, such as professional blanket fluffers and emergency marshmallow distributors.