WASHINGTON D.C. – In a groundbreaking strategic shift, the Pentagon has unveiled its new 'Thoughts and Prayers' defensive system, designed to supplement dwindling munition stockpiles. The announcement comes after an internal audit revealed that recent regional conflicts, particularly last year's 12-day skirmish, consumed interceptor missiles at a rate previously thought 'mathematically impossible by terrestrial physics.'

General Buck Thunderfist (Ret.), Head of Existential Threat Mitigation at the Department of Defensive Optimism, confirmed the pivot. "We've crunched the numbers, and frankly, we're out of options that involve exploding things," Thunderfist stated, adjusting his perfectly pressed uniform. "Our new 'Thoughts and Prayers' protocol, or T&P-1, leverages the collective spiritual energy of a nation to create a protective, albeit invisible, dome over strategic assets. Early simulations show a 17.3% chance of divine intervention, which is significantly higher than our current interceptor reload rate."

Critics, however, remain skeptical. Dr. Agnes Piffle, lead researcher at the Institute for Tangible Defense, expressed concern. "While the spirit of the initiative is commendable, we're still waiting for empirical data on 'prayer-to-projectile' conversion rates. Our current models don't account for divine targeting algorithms."

Meanwhile, defense contractors are reportedly scrambling to retool, with several major firms announcing new divisions focused on 'Aura Amplification' and 'Intention-Based Countermeasures.' The first 'Thoughts and Prayers' deployment is slated for next Tuesday, coinciding with the annual 'National Day of Hopeful Gazing.'