LONDON – In a groundbreaking move to foster 'holistic footballing wellness,' the newly formed Independent Football Regulatory Body (IFRB) has issued a stern directive, urging Premier League clubs to not only redistribute wealth but also to actively 'mentor and emotionally uplift' their financially struggling lower-league counterparts.

“The clock is ticking on mere monetary solutions,” declared Dr. Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, Head of Inter-Divisional Empathy and Strategic Compassion at the IFRB. “We envision a future where Manchester City doesn't just send a cheque, but perhaps a senior scout to offer encouraging words during a League Two club’s relegation battle, or even a star player to read bedtime stories to the youth academy.”

The proposal, dubbed the 'Footballing Fraternity Initiative' (FFI), suggests that each top-tier club formally 'adopts' at least two lower-tier teams. Responsibilities would include weekly 'wellness check-ins,' sharing of unused training cones, and potentially even loaning out a slightly-used substitute bench for moral support during crucial matches.

“It’s about more than just money; it’s about the soul of the game,” explained Brenda 'The Ball' Jenkins, a 73-year-old season ticket holder for AFC Wimbledon, whose club is reportedly slated for 'spiritual guardianship' under Chelsea FC. “I just hope they don’t try to make us play with those fancy blue balls. Our lads prefer the classic white ones.”

While details remain fuzzy, the IFRB insists that this 'emotional dividend' is crucial for preventing what Dr. Ponsonby-Smythe termed 'footballing existential dread' among smaller clubs.