WASHINGTON D.C. – House Speaker Mike Johnson is reportedly preparing to launch a groundbreaking initiative, the 'Global Alliance of Extremely Normal People,' at next week's Turning Point USA 'Alliance of Sovereign Nations' conference. The Speaker's office confirmed his attendance, noting a particular enthusiasm for networking with international figures who share a 'profoundly sensible' worldview.

Among the distinguished guests is Alternative für Deutschland politician Markus Frohnmaier, whose presence, according to Johnson's press secretary, Ms. Penelope Quibble, 'underscores a universal yearning for common sense and a return to the basics, like, you know, basic stuff.'

Dr. Reginald Piffle, a Senior Fellow at the Institute for Unquestionable Certainties, commented, 'This summit isn't about ideology; it's about vibes. Specifically, the vibe of people who instinctively know that the world is going sideways and they're the only ones holding the map right-side up.' Piffle added that the 'Extremely Normal People' designation would be self-certified, requiring only a firm handshake and a shared sense of 'knowing.'

Critics, however, expressed concern. Professor Elara Finch, head of the Department of Nuance and Contextual Studies at Oakhaven University, stated, 'While the concept of 'normalcy' is inherently subjective, historically, when politicians gather to define it, the definition tends to shrink dramatically, often excluding anyone who doesn't fit a very specific, and frequently alarming, mold.' Johnson's office dismissed such concerns as 'overthinking things, which is precisely what the Alliance aims to correct.'