LONDON – Following the controversial selection of synth artist Look Mum No Computer, known for his Game Boy and Furby-infused soundscapes, the BBC has announced a groundbreaking new judging protocol for the UK's Eurovision performance. For the first time in history, the nation's 2025 entry will be evaluated exclusively by a 'Council of Artistically-Inclined Furbys' (CAIF).

Sources within the newly formed Department for Auditory Excellence and Robotic Sentiment (DAERS) confirm the decision aims to 'eliminate human bias and embrace the pure, unadulterated joy of electronic companionship.' Each of the 17 Furbys, reportedly sourced from a single, unventilated attic in Scunthorpe, has undergone extensive 'sonic conditioning' and is now capable of expressing nuanced critical feedback through a series of pre-programmed 'ooh-koh-koh' (excellent) or 'doo?' (needs improvement) vocalizations.

Dr. Penelope Wiffle, Head of Interspecies Cultural Exchange at DAERS, stated, 'We believe the Furbys, with their innate understanding of synthesized chirps and existential dread, are uniquely positioned to appreciate the subtle complexities of Mr. No Computer's work. Their judgment will be final, and frankly, less predictable than the usual political voting blocs.'

Public reaction has been mixed, with some praising the 'innovative absurdity' while others question the Furbys' impartiality, citing historical grievances over battery life. A spokesperson for the 'Society for the Ethical Treatment of Game Boys' (SETGB) expressed concern that the Game Boys were being 'marginalized' in the judging process, calling it 'a clear act of console-based discrimination.'