GENEVA – A UN-mandated fact-finding mission has released a groundbreaking report on the siege of El Fasher, North Darfur, concluding that while the Rapid Support Forces (RSF) and allied militias exhibited 'all the aesthetic qualities' of genocide, they ultimately fell short due to a critical oversight: insufficient bureaucratic procedure.

“The systematic targeting of ethnic communities, the widespread destruction, the deliberate infliction of conditions calculated to bring about physical destruction – it’s all there,” stated Dr. Penelope Quibble, Head of Post-Conflict Taxonomy at the International Institute for Semantic Atrocities. “However, without a clearly defined 'Genocide Application Form G-87B' or at least a 'Mass Atrocity Intent Declaration,' our hands are tied. It’s simply not official.”

The report, spanning 18 months of meticulous observation, noted the RSF’s 'impressive commitment' to displacement and suffering, but highlighted a lack of formal documentation for their alleged genocidal acts. “They really could have streamlined the process,” commented Lieutenant Colonel Reginald Piffle, a retired UN Peacekeeping Logistics Officer, now an independent consultant on 'Optimizing Human Rights Violations.' “A simple checklist, perhaps? A quarterly progress report on ethnic group reduction? It would have made our job so much easier.”

Critics argue the UN’s findings set a dangerous precedent, suggesting future perpetrators might simply fill out the correct paperwork. The RSF has yet to comment, presumably still searching for a working printer.