WASHINGTON D.C. – In a groundbreaking seven-hour closed-door session, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly provided answers so consistently identical to her previous testimonies that House Oversight Committee members were left reeling from the sheer predictability. The marathon questioning, part of an ongoing inquiry into Jeffrey Epstein's connections, yielded a stunning 0.003% novel data, according to an internal committee memo obtained by The Daily Satirist.

“We went in there expecting at least a fresh nuance, perhaps a new inflection point in her vocal delivery, but alas, it was like hitting 'replay' on a particularly well-worn cassette tape,” lamented Rep. Bartholomew 'Barty' Higgins (R-KY), Chair of the Subcommittee on Historical Redundancy, speaking from a darkened office with a cold compress on his forehead. “Her commitment to narrative consistency is, frankly, admirable, if not entirely conducive to uncovering new facts.”

Experts suggest Clinton may have pioneered a new form of testimonial efficiency. Dr. Penelope 'Pippa' Finch, Professor of Advanced Obfuscation at the Institute for Perpetual Inquiry, noted, “This isn't just stonewalling; it's a highly refined, almost spiritual dedication to the art of saying nothing new, but saying it with the gravitas of someone who could, if she chose, say everything.”

One junior aide, requesting anonymity to avoid being assigned to future Clinton depositions, was overheard muttering, “I think I heard her answer the same question about her travel schedule three times, word-for-word, including the slight cough after 'State Department business.' It was… hypnotic.” The committee is now considering implementing a 'novelty clause' for all future high-profile testimonies.