WASHINGTON D.C. – Leading economists have issued a dire new warning: the U.S. economy, already teetering under various global and domestic pressures, is now so precariously balanced that even a minor, unpredictable event could be its undoing. Sources close to the Federal Reserve indicate that the current economic model has been refined to such an exquisite degree of fragility, it can no longer withstand the weight of a particularly strong gust of wind, let alone a geopolitical conflict.

“We’ve optimized for efficiency to the point where we’ve accidentally optimized for catastrophic failure,” stated Dr. Evelyn Reed, a senior fellow at the Institute for Economic Precarity. “Historically, we worried about things like interest rates or oil prices. Now, we’re modeling the impact of a rogue pigeon landing on a power line in Nebraska. The margins are just that tight.”

The warnings come after Nobel laureate Paul Krugman suggested the Iran conflict alone could be the 'straw that breaks the camel's back,' a metaphor now considered dangerously optimistic by many analysts. “A camel’s back implies a certain structural integrity,” explained financial analyst Mark 'The Oracle' Jenkins. “What we have now is more like a Jenga tower built on a trampoline, during an earthquake, while a toddler is screaming nearby.”

Congress is reportedly considering emergency legislation to ban all sudden movements, loud noises, and potentially disruptive thoughts within a 500-mile radius of Wall Street. Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve has begun exploring contingency plans for a 'butterfly effect' scenario, including the controversial 'National Bubble Wrap Reserve' program.

Citizens are advised to avoid sneezing too forcefully, just in case.