GENEVA – In a stunning development that has left international diplomats both bewildered and mildly impressed, sources close to the ongoing U.S.-Iran nuclear talks in Geneva suggest that the late financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein may be 'ghost-negotiating' the intricate agreement.

While U.S. and Iranian officials are physically present, a series of increasingly bizarre demands—including a clause for a 'tax-exempt island retreat for non-extraditable thought leaders' and a 'mandatory 3-D chess tournament'—have led analysts to suspect a posthumous influence. “The specificity of the offshore accounts, the insistence on certain types of private jet fuel, it all just screams 'Epstein,'” stated Dr. Penelope Witherbottom, a Senior Paranormal Geopolitics Analyst at the Institute for Unexplained Global Phenomena.

The revelation comes just hours after former Harvard President Larry Summers' resignation over his own extensive ties to Epstein, a move now being re-evaluated as a mere 'pre-emptive PR maneuver' rather than a genuine ethical reckoning. “We initially thought Summers was just cleaning house,” admitted Bartholomew 'Barty' Finch, a junior intern at the State Department, polishing a bronze bust of Henry Kissinger. “But if Epstein's pulling strings from the great beyond, maybe Larry was just trying to get a head start on his own escape plan.”

Negotiators, visibly flustered, confirmed that several clauses had appeared in draft documents overnight, written in what appeared to be 'a very elegant, yet slightly unsettling, script.' The talks are now expected to extend indefinitely, or until a medium can be found to confirm Epstein’s exact demands.