OLATHE, KS – Garmin, a company long dedicated to quantifying every conceivable aspect of human endeavor, today announced a groundbreaking new feature: the 'Existential Dread' metric. Available through a mandatory firmware update, the new tracking capability promises to provide users with unprecedented insights into their inner turmoil, correlating moments of profound unease with activity levels and sleep cycles.

“For too long, our users have been forced to manually log their feelings of impending doom or the creeping realization of life’s ultimate meaninglessness,” stated Dr. Anya Sharma, Garmin’s Head of Advanced Self-Flagellation Metrics. “Now, with our proprietary 'Dread-Sense' algorithm, your device will automatically detect and categorize these invaluable data points, offering personalized graphs and weekly summaries of your spiritual anguish.”

The feature, which reportedly utilizes a combination of biometric data and subtle changes in GPS accuracy when users are contemplating their life choices, is expected to revolutionize personal wellness. Early beta testers reported a significant increase in self-awareness, with one user noting, “I always *felt* like my Sunday long runs were just me running away from my problems, but now Garmin has the data to prove it.”

Industry analysts predict the new metric will be particularly popular among endurance athletes and anyone who has ever stared blankly at a spreadsheet for more than three minutes. Garmin also hinted at future integrations, including a 'Mid-Life Crisis' alert and a 'Regretful Purchase' tracker for online shopping.