LITTLE EDEN HOLIDAY PARK, UK – Following the recent discovery of two deceased teenagers, park management at Little Eden Holiday Park has issued a statement addressing what they term 'customer feedback' regarding the incident. While a 33-year-old man remains in custody, the primary concern among a vocal segment of guests appears to be the 'lack of narrative cohesion' surrounding the tragic event.

'Honestly, it was just… two bodies,' lamented Brenda Piffle, 57, a long-time Little Eden 'Escape Artist' loyalty member, adjusting her novelty pirate hat. 'No cryptic clues, no ancient curse, not even a dramatic fog machine. It felt very… un-Eden-like. Where’s the pizzazz?'

Dr. Quentin Quibble, Head of Experiential Trauma Studies at the Institute for Post-Modern Leisure, concurred. 'Modern holidaymakers crave engagement. A simple, unadorned fatality, while tragic, fails to leverage the full potential of the 'unforeseen incident' genre. We're seeing a 17.3% decline in sustained emotional investment without proper contextualization.'

In response, Little Eden CEO, Bartholomew 'Barty' Blight, announced new initiatives. 'We're introducing 'Mystery Mayhem Mondays' and a 'Who-Dunnit Weekender' package,' Blight stated, unveiling blueprints for a new 'Forensic Funhouse' attraction. 'Our goal is to ensure every guest's experience, however brief, is profoundly memorable and, crucially, monetizable.'