WASHINGTON D.C. – A new report from the Bureau of Consumer Anticipation (BCA) indicates a dramatic 17.3% drop in national productivity this quarter, directly linked to widespread public indecision over the purchase of Bluetooth speakers. Experts suggest the current 'super sale' on the JBL Flip 7, now available for $100, has exacerbated a growing trend of 'pre-purchase paralysis' among American consumers.

“People are literally just sitting there, staring at their screens, refreshing retail websites every 3.7 minutes,” explained Dr. Evelyn P. Thistlewaite, Head of Behavioral Economics at the Institute for Unnecessary Consumer Dilemmas. “They're not working, they're not socializing, they’re not even showering. They’re just waiting for the 'perfect' price, or perhaps a bundle deal that includes a tiny, waterproof umbrella for the speaker itself.”

The BCA’s findings show that 82% of surveyed adults admitted to delaying at least one significant life event – including filing taxes, attending a child’s school play, or even proposing marriage – until they were certain they had secured the absolute best possible deal on a portable audio device. “My lawn is practically a jungle, but what if the Flip 7 drops another five bucks next Tuesday?” mused local man, Gary Blevins, 47, from his unkempt porch in Akron, Ohio. “You can’t put a price on that kind of regret. Or rather, you can, and I’m waiting for it to be lower.”

Analysts predict the economic stagnation will continue until either all Bluetooth speakers are given away for free, or the sun explodes, eliminating the need for outdoor music altogether.