FORT HANCOCK, TX – In a groundbreaking display of inter-agency cooperation, the U.S. military has confirmed the successful 're-education' of a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) drone using an advanced laser system. The incident, which temporarily closed airspace near Fort Hancock, marks a strategic shift in managing drone 'attitude' within federal operations.

Sources within the Department of Defense (DoD) indicate the drone, designated 'Eagle Eye 7-Delta-Zulu,' was exhibiting 'unbecoming aerial swagger' and 'excessive loitering' over sensitive airspace. 'We detected a distinct lack of deference,' stated Brigadier General Millicent 'Milly' Kincaid, head of the newly formed 'Drone Demeanor Division' at the Pentagon. 'Our laser system isn't just for hostile targets; it's also for ensuring our own assets remember their place in the pecking order.'

The incident follows a similar 'behavioral adjustment' event near El Paso, where DHS personnel reportedly grounded several commercial flights due to a 'misunderstanding' with a laser. Dr. Quentin Piffle, a leading expert in 'Aero-Psychological Warfare' from the Institute for Advanced Bureaucratic Studies, explained the necessity. 'Drones, especially those with high-definition cameras, can develop an inflated sense of self-importance. A well-placed laser beam reminds them they are, at their core, just very expensive toys.'

CBP officials declined to comment on the drone's 'attitude,' but did confirm a 'minor unscheduled landing' and 'subsequent systems recalibration.' The DoD plans to expand its 'Humility Beam' program to other federal agencies, citing a 17% reduction in 'unnecessary aerial bravado' in initial trials.