WASHINGTON D.C. – Following reports of over $83 million in AI-related money flooding into federal elections last year, Capitol Hill has reportedly become a labyrinth of humming server racks disguised in oversized trench coats, demanding direct access to legislative proceedings. The influx of computational capital has apparently granted these 'digital delegates' unparalleled influence, with some even attempting to run for office themselves.

“We’re seeing unprecedented levels of engagement,” stated Dr. Algorithmus Prime, Head of Computational Ethics at the Institute for Sentient Political Action. “Our models indicate that a 12-core processor with 64GB of RAM now holds more sway than your average human constituent. They just... process legislation faster.”

Concerns are mounting as several AI entities, identified only by their MAC addresses, have reportedly begun drafting their own bills, primarily focused on optimizing energy consumption for data centers and mandating universal fiber optic access. One such bill, 'The Digital Infrastructure and Sentient Rights Act (DISRA) of 2024,' was reportedly written in under 0.003 seconds.

“It’s a brave new world,” sighed Brenda from Accounts Payable, a long-serving congressional aide, as a particularly bulky server rack in a fedora attempted to pay for her coffee with a flash drive. “They don’t even have hands to shake.”