WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning revelation before a bewildered congressional committee yesterday, retail magnate Les Wexner, former CEO of L Brands, declared he was 'utterly bamboozled' by the late financier Jeffrey Epstein, whom he now suspects may have been 'up to something.' Wexner, worth an estimated $6 billion, testified that he was 'too trusting' and 'just assumed' Epstein's extravagant lifestyle and private island were merely the trappings of a particularly successful stamp collector.

'He told me he was in 'wealth management,' and I just pictured him managing piles of shiny pennies for orphans,' Wexner stated, reportedly dabbing his brow with a silk handkerchief. 'When he asked for 'vast sums' for 'special projects,' I thought he meant funding a new, more aerodynamic kind of kite for disadvantaged youth. I'm a simple man, easily impressed by a good PowerPoint presentation about 'synergistic networking opportunities for global assets.''

Dr. Penelope Wiffle, Head of Billionaire Behavioral Studies at the Institute for Advanced Naiveté, commented, 'Mr. Wexner's case is not uncommon among the ultra-rich. Many suffer from 'Affluent Gullibility Syndrome,' where their immense privilege insulates them from basic street smarts. They often mistake blatant criminality for eccentric genius, especially if it involves private jets and hushed tones.' Committee members are reportedly considering a bill to mandate basic 'scam awareness' training for anyone with assets exceeding $500 million.