SAN FRANCISCO – In a bold move signaling the future of corporate efficiency, Block CEO Jack Dorsey announced yesterday that the company has successfully transitioned its entire human workforce to a singular, proprietary artificial intelligence named 'Karen.' The AI, developed internally, is reportedly capable of handling all customer service, software development, accounting, and even office plant watering duties simultaneously.

“We believe the majority of firms will make similar changes within the next year,” stated Dorsey in a press release disseminated by Karen herself. “Why pay 3,000 people when one highly efficient, non-unionized algorithm can do the work of 30,000? It’s simple math, really.”

Former Block employees, now part of what Dorsey affectionately termed the 'AI Transitioned Talent Pool,' expressed mixed feelings. “I spent ten years building their payment infrastructure, and now I’m being replaced by a sentient spreadsheet,” lamented Brenda from Accounts Payable, who received her termination notice via a personalized, yet algorithmically generated, haiku from Karen.

Dr. Algorithma Smith, Head of Post-Human Resource Management at the Institute for Futurist Redundancy, praised Block’s pioneering spirit. “This isn’t just about cost-cutting; it’s about achieving peak corporate sentience. Karen doesn’t need lunch breaks, healthcare, or even a sense of purpose beyond processing transactions. It’s the ultimate employee.” Block projects a 3,000% increase in productivity and a 0% increase in human resources complaints by Q3.